


You Put The Milky In My Way

by Asphyxiation (cat_in_my_hat)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Arguing, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff, Gaurdians of the galaxy au kinda, M/M, actually he does a lot of them, hinata does a dumb, honestly i couldnt help myself, oikawa is kinda their boss but not really, they're ravagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 17:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10836129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cat_in_my_hat/pseuds/Asphyxiation
Summary: “Hinata, you dumbass,” Kageyama spits, wishing Hinata was close enough so he could rip his goddamn orange hair out, “You just released the emergency escape pod with me and Asahi in it. You’re dead to me.”“Wow, really? Shouyou how dumb,” Noya’s obnoxious laugh rings out loud and clear through the intercom, “Where is it headed?”“The nearest inhabited planet. Which isShiratorizawa.”“You’re going to see Ushijima?”“Not by choice, Noya-san, because if you don’t remember,they hate us.”“Everyone hates us,” Asahi sobs.--Or that Guardians in the Galaxy au no one asked for.





	You Put The Milky In My Way

**Author's Note:**

> Obligatory 'heyho im not ded lol' but ye, HAVE THIS  
> I'm sorry, I couldnt help myself. its really occ. im sorry. Also, here I have them being ravagers bc it was easier to come up with a plot that would include iwaoisuga if it were like that hahahahahaa im trash  
> idk man hope you enjoy......this

Kageyama questions his life choices. Whilst this is a regular occurrence when you live with both Hinata and Nishinoya, probably the _most_ idiotic people this side of the galaxy, but that’s usually out of exasperation because they broke something. Or said something stupid. Or have done both at the same time. But right now, he questions everything that leads him here, because he’s stuck inside of an escape pod made for a Wakunan citizen, so it’s just big enough to fit a human, but small enough for it to be cramped. To make matters worse, he’s stuck in it with _Asahi_ , who is easily twice the size of a normal person (and, oh boy are they touching in places that Kageyama wished they didn’t), _and_ heading towards a planet that he _knows_ would kill them on sight.

 “ _Hinata, you dumbass_ ,” Kageyama spits, wishing Hinata was close enough so he could rip his goddamn orange hair out, “You just released the emergency escape pod. You’re dead to me.”

“ _Wow, really? Shouyou how dumb_ ,” Noya’s obnoxious laugh rings out loud and clear, “ _Where is it headed?_ ”

“The nearest inhabited planet. Which is _Shiratorizawa_.”

“ _OoooOOOOWAAAA, you’re going to see Ushijima_?”

“Not by choice, Noya-san, because if you don’t remember, _they hate us_.”

“Everyone hates us,” Asahi sobs.

“ _He’s not wrong_ ,” Noya laughs again. “ _But, yeah, didn’t Shoyou vomit on something_?”

“Yes, he vomited _on_ Ushijima. _The high priest_. Like a moron.”

“ _I’m not that dumb_ ,” Hinata chimes in, _finally_. Kageyama hears the sounds of laser blasts from the intercom, and wonders if they’ll really make it off of the enemy’s ship in time to come and save them before Ushijima had them killed a spectacular way.

“No, you are, dumbass Hinata,” Kageyama growls. Asahi whimpers and Noya groans, both noises sounding eerily similar to _not again_. Kageyama doesn’t really think about it. “You pressed the button I told you not to! And now me and Asahi are going to die!”

“ _Well, it’s not my fault that you ended up in the escape pod. Why were you there anyway_? _Stupid Kageyama._ ”

“Because _I was helping Asahi_. He got his coat stuck in the door. And don’t call me stupid, when you _literally_ had _one_ job and managed to fuck it up.”

“ _Honestly_ , _Stingyama calm down, I’ll save you, okay_ ,” there’s a silence, save for the sounds of guns and Kageyama _knows_ he’s going to say something stupid. “ _You’re like my little damsel in distress_.”

Kageyama almost breathes fire. Almost.

“ _HiiiiiinnnnnnnnnaaaaatttttttAAAAAAA!”_ he yells, drowning out Nishinoya’s indignant, _Asahi isn’t little, I should know!_ “ _You’re dead_.”

“ _Ahhhh, I guess I won’t save you then_ ,” Hinata laughs over the com, “ _Have fun with Ushijima_.”

“Yeah, I’ll give him your exact coordinates and tell him to rip your balls off before he kills you,” Kageyama spits, taking a breath to yell some more when Asahi timidly says;

“Can’t you two stop for minute. Me and Kageyama have about ten minutes until we warp, so as long as either Yuu or Hinata come and get us before that, we’ll be fine.”

“ _That’s easier said than done_ ,” Noya says, in full business mode, “ _We have to get the target to Oikawa by midnight tonight, we just can’t leave now or we won’t have another chance to get him before the deadline_.”

“ _And then we’ll have to deal with Oikawa sending us passive-aggressive postcards for the next three years, and I saw what that did to Sawamura, so yeah_ , no thanks,” Hinata made a _blegh_ sound and Asahi and Kageyama collectively shivered when they remembered the look on Sawamura’s face during the Ravager’s annual Christmas party. _Yeah, no thanks_ indeed.

“The target’s name is Kenma, right?” Kageyama asks and Noya makes an affirming noise, “Okay, focus on him first and me and Asahi second. We have space suits so we’ll work on getting the hatch open on this stupid thing before we end up warping into Ushijima’s hands.”

“ _What if you float away before we get there_?” Hinata asks. Someone screams in the background.

“Be quick and we won’t have that issue, S _tarlord_.”

“ _That sounded like an insult_!”

“Good, because it was.”

“ _Stingyama_ ”

“ _Dumbass_.”

“ _Okay_ ,” says Nishinoya, “ _You can shut up now_.”

\--

Somehow, they survive, But Kageyama is dirty in places he didn't think was possible. Hintata pays for it.

\--

“Tobio-chan,” Oikawa flounces off his ship with his partners Iwaizumi and Sugawara in tow, looking gleeful, “You look like shit.”

 At the comment, Kageyama whirls on Hinata, grabbing his soft orange hair and pulling in an upwards direction, “You can blame _this_ fuckwit for that.”

“Ahhhh, amusing as always,” Oikawa claps, “Never change.”

“Don’t plan on it,” He mumbles, letting go of Hinata’s hair, the strands falling softly from his green hands. The planet that they agreed to rendezvous at has a blue sun that casts a hue over Tobio’s green skin, making it look a muddy teal. He hates these blue planets, because they remind him of his father and his brothers, Kindaichi and Kunimi, and where he was raised. (He thinks this is the reason why he loves the fire in Hinata’s existence so much; it overwhelms and destroys the cold colours of his past and colours his future in shades of reds and golds and everything in between). From his place on Kageyama’s shoulder Tanaka, their little tree-child, tugs on a strand of his hair, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Enough with pleasantries,” Oikawa says, seemingly oblivious to Asahi’s mutter of ‘ _But nothing is really pleasant with you_ ’ and snaps his fingers, “Where’s my Kenma?”

“Here,” Nishinoya says, plucking Hinata’s old earth-game thingy from the boy’s fingers, who is standing behind them and shoving him towards Oikawa. Kenma’s species is similar to Hinata’s; he has beige skin and a standard build, but when he looks passed his too-long hair, his eyes are catlike.

The boy fidgets without the game console to keep him occupied. They didn’t tie him up because he wasn’t capable of looking any of them in the eye (except for Hinata, but he has that effect on people), let alone hurt them.

“Kenma,” Oikawa coos, “Kuroo Tetsurou is paying a pretty penny for you to be found.”

“Kuro?” Kenma lights up at the name, and Kageyama sees Hinata visibly relax next to him. He understands the sentiment; whenever Oikawa asks for someone to be found and delivered there’s usually one outcome – they get sent to a planet that wants them dead. It usually doesn’t bother them (the people they usually grab are assholes to say the least), but in the short trip to the rendezvous point Hinata had obviously grown somewhat attached to Kenma, and would have fought Oikawa for him if it came to that. (Which would have made them some very, _very_ bad enemies, because _wow_ , does Oikawa have contacts).

(And what bother him the most, is that he would fight Oikawa for Hinata if he had to).

“Okay, reward time,” Kageyama snaps, hand outstretched. Hinata nods vigorously beside him muttering _gimme, gimme_.

Oikawa waves a hand around dramatically, “Is my presence not enough?” Iwaizumi hits him from behind and to his left Sugawara giggles.

“You’re the only reward I’ll ever need,” Sugawara says, patting Oikawa on his head where he clutches it.

“Don’t spoil him, Suga,” Iwaizumi scolds.

“But Iwa-chan, if Kou-chan isn’t nice to me, no one is,” Oikawa whines.

Kageyama wants to vomit at the domesticity of it.

“I don’t want to see your gross couple germs,” Hinata scrunches his nose and holds out his hand, “Just give us the money.”

“Okay fine,” Oikawa sulks, throwing a duffle bag at Asahi, “That’s fifty percent of the reward Kuroo offered for Kenma. I think that’s pretty fair.”

Nishinoya grabs Tanaka off Kageyama’s shoulder and heads off towards the ship with Asahi. Kageyama always thought they were a weird pair – Nishinoya with his short stature, coming only to a little bit above Kageyama’s knee, and Asahi’s broad shoulders and blue skin marked red with angry scars from his time as a slave. But when Hinata and he had gone to the leaders of the Ravagers on their hands and knees, begging for a crew and Sawamura pointed them towards Nishinoya and Asahi, he never expected them to stick around. Nishinoya’s eccentricities balance out Hinata’s endless energy, and Asahi is a steady calm resistance to Kageyama’s constant irritation.  He may act as though he hates them, but he really doesn’t. They’re almost like a family. A dysfunctional, perfect family.

(He’s happy here. Happy like he never knew he could be).

“Don’t be a stranger, Kenma! I’ll show you more games next time!” Hinata calls, waving both hands above his head. He looks happy. (and that makes Kageyama happy).

“You’re a dumbass, you know that,” Kageyama says, turning to follow Nishinoya to their ship. “You almost got me killed today.”

“But you didn’t actually die did you?” Hinata sniffs.

“No,” He says, looking around to make sure they were alone before leaning down to peck Hinata on the lips, “Don’t do it again though. Asahi has really bad body odour when he’s stressed out.”

Hinata lights up, “I won’t! Promise!”

Kageyama knows it’s an empty promise. He doesn’t really mind though.

\--

**Author's Note:**

> List of characters:  
> Kageyama is Gomora  
> Hinata is Peter Quill  
> Nishinoya is rocket (kinda)  
> Tanaka is Groot (kinda)  
> Asahi is nothing like drac, but imma say it was inspiration. inspiration okay.


End file.
